Reading Time: 7 mins
The Myth of the Ideal Candidate
Our ideal candidate has the agility of a boxer, the confidence of a drag queen, and the wings of a unicorn 🦄
This is Part 4 of a six-part series where I'll be discussing:
😩 Why it’s hard to find a job right now
🤝🏼 Networking in 2024
🎲 Interviews vs. mind games
🦄 The myth of the ideal candidate
💔 Rejection emails
🧠 Mental health tips
Have you ever read those tone-deaf “ideal candidate” requirements for a job that’s almost always 3 roles compressed into one?
What you’re looking for isn’t ideal — it’s exploitative and quite possibly a mythical unicorn.
As long as this unicorn mentality exists, candidates will continue to sell themselves short by presenting themselves as “someone you didn’t really want, but decided to settle on.”
Of course, some of us get more attention if we’re able to litter our profiles with “famous exes” (ex-Meta, ex-Google, ex-Hollywood, ex-Jupiter and Mars).
But for most ordinary applicants who’ve only worked at obscure companies, it’s all trial and error. What’s ideal for one hiring manager might not be for another. You might love someone’s reference to Elon Musk or question their judgment after the reference.
That’s why most headhunters and recruiters advise candidates to keep their responses neutral, avoid polarizing topics, and use a STAR approach. Because it’s safe, logical—and leaves very little room for members of the hiring team to go: “Gotcha!”
Do I personally love this approach? No. Ideally you want to get to know the imperfect person behind their perfect responses to see what they’d be like on a day-to-day basis.
As Wes Kao, professional coach and co-founder of Maven, puts it:
“I don’t care how you are on your best day.
I want to know how you are on MOST days.”
But for what it’s worth, you could use the STAR method just the same to sus out a potentially bad employer. Here’s what I’ve learned (and un-learned) about this approach.
When the STAR ain't dazzling
Several years ago, I applied to a job that matched my profile to a T.
What kind of person were they looking for? “Team player, cross-functional collaborator, sharp communicator, eager to learn.”
I cleared the screening and advanced to the next stage with the hiring team.
The interview’s going well for the most part. Everyone’s smiling and nodding approvingly at my responses—everyone except the hiring manager. 30 minutes in, this person asks me: “What do you look for in an ideal boss?” So I tell them the truth, guided by some of the messaging in their job post.
“Someone I can learn from. Some of the best managers I’ve had were communicative and transparent, which really helped me prioritize while working on multiple projects with other teams. This one time I was responsible for delivering a project and had to think on my feet when our vendor bailed at the last minute. My manager had called in sick for the week but had already entrusted me to make an executive decision if things went awry. This gave me the confidence to adapt and prevent bottlenecks. The most important thing is trust and clear communication.”
Did I expect applause? Of course not. I just said the first thing off the top of my head, keeping their expectations in mind. But in hindsight, it’s also an honest response that holds true to this day.
The hiring manager’s reaction:
“Well, my unicorn candidate would be someone who can take the heat—someone who can be fun when I’m not.”
Me:
My need for trust and clarity made this person somewhat defensive. Is this someone I would want to be reporting to 5 days a week?
More importantly, their “unicorn candidate” was totally at odds with the one described in their job post. It seems what they really wanted was a co-manager with an assistant’s pay and an intern’s hopes and dreams.
Unsurprisingly, I was ghosted—which, at the time, made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I needlessly carried that shame in subsequent interviews with bigger and better organizations until one day, I got sick of the corporate-speak, broke the cardinal rule, and said: “Look, I don’t like to be micromanaged.”
Shock of all shocks: I was hired, above my expected salary, and reported to someone who turned out to be an incredible mentor and a compassionate human being.
The power of common sense
Now, would I advise you to do the same thing? Not really.
Because you never know what might rub some folks the wrong way. It’s entirely subjective, the hiring manager may not appreciate your candor like mine did—and I have no idea what your situation looks like (i.e., how long you can financially support yourself without a job).
But please: never underestimate the power of common sense.
Sometimes it pays to ditch the script and say what feels right rather than desperately chasing the myth of the unicorn.
It’s important to stick to your guns, especially if you understand the industry you’re in. If you’ve had both good and bad coworkers and bosses in the past, chances are, you’ll learn to spot the difference in your job hunt. Follow that instinct.
Culture truths aren’t found in the “Why Work with Us” section in the job post, but how a prospective employer makes you feel throughout the hiring process.
At the end of the day, there are countless factors that go into rejecting a candidate. Your personal worth is not one of them.
Anyone that makes you feel worthless during an interview isn’t someone you want to work with. Unless you’re okay with the idea of becoming them one day.
Stay tuned for my NEXT post from this six-part series where I discuss corporate performativity and mental health tips to get through your job hunt.
Have some thoughts? Drop a comment below—and get notified when my next post is up!
